Inspiration to make my own space, my own. Space where I can be by myself without sitting in front of the computer. I miss myself. I always get back to this place where I miss myself. There don't seem to be enough minutes in a day. The feeling of being sedated. Beginnings of hating myself. Which is a silly thing to do. Always looking for escapism.. from myself. Another silly thing to do. But I don't hate myself. I miss myself. Which isn't new. I used to look for myself in books of other worlds.. and I would feel at home for whole hours. Reality doesn't always seem to click with me. The disillusions of an artist. Not a very good one. Or a very public one. Cold rainy days make me stay in bed. White walls drive me nuts.
Pretty human, I think. Jazz and cats make me feel safe. I need to put my massage table away. It's taking up my space. I need to throw up white paper and draw on my walls and not give a fuck. Redecorate my house.
Get everything in order.
It all starts with home.
Maybe buy a sheet that fits this goddamn mattress while I'm at it.
