Monday, December 28, 2009

08/10/08 Shame

shame:
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English scamu; akin to Old High German scama shame
Date: before 12th century

1 a: a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety b: the susceptibility to such emotion 2: a condition of humiliating disgrace or disrepute 3 a: something that brings censure or reproach; also : something to be regretted

i hate this word. i loathe it, actually. every time i hear it i cringe.
it is not a bad word.
i was talking to a client about the word today.
in terms of religion. in terms of how women are the carriers of.. she had no idea what i was talking about.
i find it hard sometimes to communicate with people who think i come entirely out of left field.

i am not shameful.
i do not hold shame with my menstruation. with my feet. with my breasts. with my sex.
i am a beautiful flawed human being.
i belong on this planet earth.
which is orbiting the sun in this small universe.

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A quick edit. I understand humility, I still do not understand shame. And I don't understand why I feel it so deeply. But I fight it every day.

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