Inspiration to make my own space, my own. Space where I can be by myself without sitting in front of the computer. I miss myself. I always get back to this place where I miss myself. There don't seem to be enough minutes in a day. The feeling of being sedated. Beginnings of hating myself. Which is a silly thing to do. Always looking for escapism.. from myself. Another silly thing to do. But I don't hate myself. I miss myself. Which isn't new. I used to look for myself in books of other worlds.. and I would feel at home for whole hours. Reality doesn't always seem to click with me. The disillusions of an artist. Not a very good one. Or a very public one. Cold rainy days make me stay in bed. White walls drive me nuts.
Pretty human, I think. Jazz and cats make me feel safe. I need to put my massage table away. It's taking up my space. I need to throw up white paper and draw on my walls and not give a fuck. Redecorate my house.
Get everything in order.
It all starts with home.
Maybe buy a sheet that fits this goddamn mattress while I'm at it.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
Courage
With all of my set backs it takes a lot of courage for me to go request for employment.
It takes courage to feel as if I have a right to live on the same plane as others.
Self esteem is vital.
Then I think of all those others who have many more set backs than I do.
And all of a sudden there is a warmth rushing into my heart.
For all the courageous people in the world fill my heart with pride for my human race.
The things we do to support and sustain ourselves and our loved ones.
And we don't give up.
This is courage.
It takes courage to feel as if I have a right to live on the same plane as others.
Self esteem is vital.
Then I think of all those others who have many more set backs than I do.
And all of a sudden there is a warmth rushing into my heart.
For all the courageous people in the world fill my heart with pride for my human race.
The things we do to support and sustain ourselves and our loved ones.
And we don't give up.
This is courage.
Fair
The concept of empathy is lost on most people, I think. Watching politics, even as little as I have. People have no concept of disabilities. People have no concept of social responsibility. And I don't think even if people experienced it first hand that things would change. Then they would be all about their own cause. Poor me Poor me Poor me.
I don't believe in excuses. Having a disability is not an excuse. Claiming it's America and you have to earn what everyone else is despite all the hardships you have... because you don't want to "give handouts" to your neighbor, you heartless coward, is a huge excuse to get out of the social responsibility you have to your fellow human beings.
People deserve health care. People deserve nutritious meals. People deserve to work jobs that don't kill them. Quality of life. Period. That's fair.
http://www.dispatch.com/live/content/multimedia/video/video.html?video=951077
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pilG7PCV448&feature=player_embedded
I don't believe in excuses. Having a disability is not an excuse. Claiming it's America and you have to earn what everyone else is despite all the hardships you have... because you don't want to "give handouts" to your neighbor, you heartless coward, is a huge excuse to get out of the social responsibility you have to your fellow human beings.
People deserve health care. People deserve nutritious meals. People deserve to work jobs that don't kill them. Quality of life. Period. That's fair.
http://www.dispatch.com/live/content/multimedia/video/video.html?video=951077
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pilG7PCV448&feature=player_embedded
Monday, March 15, 2010
Holistic Healing notes 1
pg 4
According to the American Holistic Medical Association (AHMA), holistic medicine is defined as the art and science of healing that addresses the whole person- body, mind and spirit- by integrating conventional and alternative therapies to prevent and treat disease, and to promote optimal health. AHMA members recognize that both conventional and alternative therapies have their place and combine both in order to offer their patients a full range of treatment options tailored to each patient's
specific needs. At the same time, holistic physicians emphasize personal responsibility and educate their patients about how to take care of themselves at all levels of their being.
----------------------------------------------------------------
SO HOW DO WE FEED OURSELVES
----------------------------------------------------------
pg 14-15
Multilevel approach to wellness, body mind and soul.
HEALTH:
1! Physical. EXERCISE
2! Environmental. Nutrition. Respect. Being Grounded.
3! Mental. Goals. Optimism. Humor.
4! Emotional. Self-acceptance. Self-esteem. EXPRESSING WHAT YOU FEEL.
5! Spiritual. Having sense of purpose. Trusting you intuition.
Being able to welcome change.
6! Social. Enjoying intimacy. Being able to Forgive. Selflessness. Altruism.
Deep, committed relationships.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
It's a philosophy. To live in a healthy space, we need to love ourselves and each other and allow ourselves to be the human beings we are. I believe this with every ounce I have. When we accept and love ourselves nothing will come but nurturing healing and an adoration for those around us. Because we all are human and share so much with each other after all.
According to the American Holistic Medical Association (AHMA), holistic medicine is defined as the art and science of healing that addresses the whole person- body, mind and spirit- by integrating conventional and alternative therapies to prevent and treat disease, and to promote optimal health. AHMA members recognize that both conventional and alternative therapies have their place and combine both in order to offer their patients a full range of treatment options tailored to each patient's
specific needs. At the same time, holistic physicians emphasize personal responsibility and educate their patients about how to take care of themselves at all levels of their being.
----------------------------------------------------------------
SO HOW DO WE FEED OURSELVES
----------------------------------------------------------
pg 14-15
Multilevel approach to wellness, body mind and soul.
HEALTH:
1! Physical. EXERCISE
2! Environmental. Nutrition. Respect. Being Grounded.
3! Mental. Goals. Optimism. Humor.
4! Emotional. Self-acceptance. Self-esteem. EXPRESSING WHAT YOU FEEL.
5! Spiritual. Having sense of purpose. Trusting you intuition.
Being able to welcome change.
6! Social. Enjoying intimacy. Being able to Forgive. Selflessness. Altruism.
Deep, committed relationships.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
It's a philosophy. To live in a healthy space, we need to love ourselves and each other and allow ourselves to be the human beings we are. I believe this with every ounce I have. When we accept and love ourselves nothing will come but nurturing healing and an adoration for those around us. Because we all are human and share so much with each other after all.
goals 3/15/10
I feel my vitality, my power and the ebbing vibration connecting me to the universe. It is mine and I am rediscovering myself. So Alive.
When I lose track of this I feel as if I cannot breathe.
Few understand what I mean. See life as I do. I am enjoying my time in my mortal shell. My body is beautiful and will decay. My spirit is in tune with my frontal lobe. I will flourish. I will challenge. I will be fire until I die.
The things I hold important I will cherish until that day. Kindness. Love. Loyalty. Passion. Companionship. There are some words that hold so much meaning for me.
Though words mean different things to different people.
The words that could make my heart soar... may make others cringe.
All of our experiences are different.
It is my challenge to let others feel as they do about me and my beliefs.
It is very hard.
I am very proud.
But I know I am very healthy. I have a lot of love in my heart.
My second challenge:
I understand that creativity flows from my pores.
I am still figuring out how to use my gifts.
Incorporate my ethics with my gifts and maybe bring light into others lives.
And lastly.
I need to be able to balance my life.
Money will come and go. How do I continue to live without obsessing over it?
I need to let go of my materialism.
Eat to satiate hunger.
Focus on my ideas.
When I lose track of this I feel as if I cannot breathe.
Few understand what I mean. See life as I do. I am enjoying my time in my mortal shell. My body is beautiful and will decay. My spirit is in tune with my frontal lobe. I will flourish. I will challenge. I will be fire until I die.
The things I hold important I will cherish until that day. Kindness. Love. Loyalty. Passion. Companionship. There are some words that hold so much meaning for me.
Though words mean different things to different people.
The words that could make my heart soar... may make others cringe.
All of our experiences are different.
It is my challenge to let others feel as they do about me and my beliefs.
It is very hard.
I am very proud.
But I know I am very healthy. I have a lot of love in my heart.
My second challenge:
I understand that creativity flows from my pores.
I am still figuring out how to use my gifts.
Incorporate my ethics with my gifts and maybe bring light into others lives.
And lastly.
I need to be able to balance my life.
Money will come and go. How do I continue to live without obsessing over it?
I need to let go of my materialism.
Eat to satiate hunger.
Focus on my ideas.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
consuming consumerism
why can't we create instead?
we would be a lot less bored with ourselves.
shopping. drugs. drinking. sex.
i miss the warm. so i could just bike at midnight. or lay in some grass.
the winter is driving me nuts.
i just think about lying on the sidewalk at Antioch. watching shooting stars to keep myself sane. measuring my breathing.
breathing.
clarity.
we find ourselves in this, (and many other cultures)having to be constantly entertained. i remember when one of my mantras was, "if you are bored.. you just need to slow down." there is so much going on in your senses. pay attention to your body. i feel as if ive lost the connection to my sensual self. im too busy to just be. or rather.. its been replaced with movies.
biking is my connection with myself now.
we would be a lot less bored with ourselves.
shopping. drugs. drinking. sex.
i miss the warm. so i could just bike at midnight. or lay in some grass.
the winter is driving me nuts.
i just think about lying on the sidewalk at Antioch. watching shooting stars to keep myself sane. measuring my breathing.
breathing.
clarity.
we find ourselves in this, (and many other cultures)having to be constantly entertained. i remember when one of my mantras was, "if you are bored.. you just need to slow down." there is so much going on in your senses. pay attention to your body. i feel as if ive lost the connection to my sensual self. im too busy to just be. or rather.. its been replaced with movies.
biking is my connection with myself now.
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